Whine. But with no cheese, and actually no wine, either. Boo.

Sooo the scale is gonna kill me.

I’ve gone and committed myself to really HITTING IT for the next three months, and the damn scale keeps screwing with me.

I started the new Tony Horton program, P90, and I’m on Day 12.  The program is not intimidating (I wasn’t sure what to expect as Horton’s previous programs are supposed to be pretty tough), but it still works the bod and causes a bit of a sweat.

I’ve been dedicated in getting the workouts done and eating clean.  I’ve even given my flask to Miz J. and she duct-taped up our stash of road-pops.   The worst nutritional crime has been lasagna one night, and a couple of tablespoons of an Argentinean dulce de leche (so good). One “cheat” cannot have reversed the 3.5 lbs lost to date on the program…and yet… the scale says it has.

So annoying.

And every time I whine about this, there are non-scale victories to share. My pant size has gone down. I have a size 14 pair of black pants I’ve been wearing (I started at a size 20-22 in January 2014), and when I went to buy some thermal outdoor pants from Eddie Bauer, I bought a size LARGE, and they are actually a tiny bit loose.  Crazy.

SO. Yeah. I get it. Stop whining. But I swear to God, I need to drop permanently below 200 lbs and not have the scale be a bloody pendulum!

That is all.

 

 

The agony of the non-scale victory

It’s that time again. When the scale stops moving and every single pound lost is an epic battle to the death.  My weight has been fluctuating a bunch for the past two months but still comes back and settles at 200 lbs.  I don’t WANT to be 200 lbs. Anymore. Ever.

This is the part where I’m supposed to be all

  • I went on two epic backcountry hiking trips
  • The two pairs of summer pants I bought in May from Costco actually fit now, and are on the verge of being too loose
  • Upper body muscle tone is developing slowly but surely
  • I set a personal best for a 5K
  • I feel stronger when I run
  • Blah blah blah

I am simply ungrateful for these changes.

I want to be 50 lbs lighter.

Anyway.  I’m back into running/training mode in order to not die on my next big race.  It’s a 21ish km road race in the mountains at the end of September, and I’d like to finish in a respectable time. My 25K trail race in May took me 4 hours…ahaaa.  I’m aiming for about 3.0 hrs on this next race.  Just a nice steady run.

My PiYo workouts have been terrific for building strength and improving my flexibility.  PiYo kind of surprises you that way. You think nothing is happening but suddenly you’re stronger, more flexible, have endurance, etc.

Over the long weekend, I took the opportunity to clean out my closest to get ready for fall. I love fall. To heck with the lazy days of summer. Fall is fresh, new, clean – truly the start of my new year is September rather than January.  But I digress.

Clothes.  I decided to clean out all my XXL summer clothes from the closet, because by the time next summer rolls around, those won’t fit. Heck, they don’t fit now! They hang off me but I wear them because that’s what I have.

I got out the blue recycling bags and trudged upstairs.  I dug deep into the closet for every last stitch. Shirts, sweater, skirts. XXL. Gone. Into the donation bag.  Some things I’d never even worn, because ultimately, I’d bought them only because they fit but I, in fact, hated them.  In fact, I have a lot of clothes I bought only because they fit. That’s just crap. It steals away who you are. Your identity and self-expression.

But enough whining. The clothes are culled, and I’m left with a skeleton crew of some pants and skirts, and a few sweaters (some of which are still too big but I need SOMETHING to wear to work…).  I started digging through my fall clothes to be proactive and weed out the  big ones, and was delighted to find a bag dedicated to items that were once all too small!  Most of them I can now FIT. Woot.

So, not much has changed since my July weigh-in.  And I apologize for forgetting August – I was in the backcountry at that point and had no Internet or inclination to share stagnant results. [Insert sad face]

For NO EXCUSES SEPTEMBER, the game plan is to lose 6 pounds. SIX. POUNDS.  That shouldn’t be too hard, right? I’m going back on the 21 Day Fix nutrition plan, and my workouts will be running, PiYo and the occasional 21 Day Fix workout.

X-Weighted and pushing back

Tackling obesity in youth is a big freaking deal.

What gets me the most is that kids just don’t arrive in this world shoving junk in their faces and sitting around in front of the TV. Nope. As parents, we play a huge part in this.

It kills me to see families taking their kids to McDonald’s regularly or giving the kids Gatorade or pop, and filling their lunches with packaged foods. I did all of this. As parents, we brought the potato chips into the house, didn’t limit the video gaming time, and fed the kids processed foods in the name of time and convenience for ourselves.

In 2009, my family did a Canadian TV program called “X-Weighted.” X-Weighted follows the get-in-shape journey of individuals over a period of six months. Our season of the show featured children and families. My husband and I were both obese, and our junior high-aged boys were overweight.

All of the chubby little kids that season were not feeding themselves junk or sitting on the couch for no reason. The parents have a huge impact. Well – this was us. We were a part of the problem. If not THE problem.

So, we decided to do something about it under the eye of a nation. Or at least, whoever watched the Slice Network.

We got on the show after they’d already started filming due to another family dropping out; that left us with three months of filming. The production company gave us $1,000 towards fitness-related costs. We chose to purchase bikes. Otherwise, we were on our own to figure out what to do to get in shape. The film crew was just there to record the story as it unfolded.

Our first step was to set a goal: at the end of the three months we wanted to do a family bike and hike adventure in the mountains, and be in good enough shape that this wouldn’t kill us and leave us as bear snax in the wilderness.

Second, we tossed out the crap food from the house. Processed foods, mostly. (I became a huge carb Nazi, which I know now was a little extreme, but it worked at the time.) Being the mom and the one who produced 98% of the family meals, I felt an extreme pressure to feed my crew with good stuff – whether they liked it or not. I had to develop a pretty thick skin.

Third, we got active. We hired a trainer, Jordan Galloway, to train us as a family. He had simple, effective boot-camp and gym-based workouts for us twice a week for about 10 weeks. We all pushed through and learned this stuff together, and Jordan worked brilliantly with the boys. The other side of getting active was to do something each evening and weekend that we weren’t meeting with Jordan. We didn’t limit the video gaming time, per se, but we just packed the schedule with walking, swimming, bike rides etc. Both boys learned to ride bikes during this time.

Fourth, we supported each other. This was tricky. My husband is super competitive and always wanted to win the weigh-ins, bike the farthest and burn the most calories. Having young teen boys, this sometimes backfired rather than inspired the kids. Overall, we encouraged and motivated one another to be better – for ourselves and our kids’ health down the road.

I learned a lot about our family during these three months:

  • We’d been doing A LOT around food: snacks at movies, snacks at football games, special seasonal meals, etc. It was disheartening to learn so many of our favourite/regular foods were not really high in nutritional value.
  • When given no choices, the kids conformed and responded nicely. Seriously – taking on that parent role of guiding the kids in their eating habits was beneficial. When they left to go on sleepovers or out with their friends, they knew to make the “best” choices.
  • Taking care of the family felt really positive. My husband supported me in all the menu plans that came to the table. He used to be the first one to say “I don’t like what we’re having for dinner” and go make his own, and eat in front of the TV. Having a united front was a big deal, and eating together at the table, so important.

Over the three months, my husband lost 30 lbs, I lost 29 and the boys each lost 19. Huge difference. We did this by maintaining a healthy nutritional intake and being active. No pills, no shakes, no magic drug. We wrapped it all up with a wonderful family holiday of biking and hiking in Lake Louise and Lake O’Hara.

But you know, what worried me the most was that this wouldn’t stick. I think I even said on camera that I would never want to be 29lbs heavier again, ever. Ever. Why would I do that to myself?

What happened?

Well… we didn’t keep our trainer, Jordan, after the show was done. It was an extra expense that seemed like a luxury. Without Jordan, we didn’t continue the more intense workouts. We did still go out and do things as a family, but we didn’t feel the pressure or obligation to do it quite as often without the cameras on.

Slowly – very slowly – white bread started creeping back in on demand from the family, and the whole grains mostly disappeared. I stopped being the carb Nazi and didn’t push greens as much as I used to. Meal planning – a huge amount of work – fell off the wagon a bit. Bagels, coffee with cream/sugar and the occasional box of Timbits started being a weekly treat from Tim Hortons. “I’ve lost 29 lbs, I deserve a treat.” It took less than a year to lose most of the healthy habits developed during the show. And then I started to gain…

First it was an extra 5lbs back on. Then 7. Then 10lbs, then 15lbs. Eventually, by 2013, I was back up and beyond my starting weight with the show. S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y.

Perhaps part of the challenge is that I never sat down and addressed some of the issues that got me to that weight in the first place. WHY I am morbidly obese. WHY I now want to lose weight. What are my issues, man?? (And trust me, I’m still working on those right now)

Without getting to the meat of the problem, my newfound “fitness” was temporary.

With the exception of my oldest son, all of us gained weight back.

Which is ridiculous.

That’s part of the reason why, in January 2014, I decided to do something about my health, weight and fitness. I know I’ve done it before, and can do it again. So far, this go around, it’s taken me A LOT LONGER. Instead of 3 months to lose 29 lbs, it’s taken me 6 months to lose 35 lbs.

Every single pound is a fight. A lotta blood, sweat and tears.

And I feel like I’m doing it ALONE.

It takes serious drive and stamina (I’m breaking a mental sweat over here, people) to bring in the good stuff and be that lone example in a family of four. Okay, I shouldn’t play the martyr…I’ve been reaching out to friends and thank goodness I have awesome adventure buddies to do things with. BUT they’re not in my house, and seeing me every day, and checking on me to make the right decisions.

Moving forward into the latter half of my FAT TO FIT journey, I’m making promises to myself:

  • The groceries I’m buying are super healthy. I will not pay for any groceries that are crap food. If my husband is along, throwing processed food in my cart, he can pay for that stuff himself. (I know that doesn’t entirely solve the problem but I need to take a stand)
  • I will continue to be a low-key, positive influence in the lives of my family and figure out how to draw them in with love, affection and adoration to be healthier every day.
  • I will invite, invite, invite everyone around me – family, friends, strangers – to be a part of my fitness journey, challenge groups, whatever. Let’s just be ACTIVE.
  • I will get fit.
  • I will not give up.

All said and done, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying that working for something good, awesome, right, etc takes time and commitment.

Do it for yourself, and for the positive impact it will have on the people around you, like your family and your little ones.  I wish I had my act together when I was a young mum… a healthier start for MY kids.  Make the change NOW!!

(Wow – second ranting post of the week…lol)

PS: I would link to our X-Weighted episode for you but Slice has removed the majority (if not all) of the X-Weighted episodes from the Slice Network website. If you catch us on re-runs, we  originally aired December 24, 2009, in the episode titled “Hugh.” In all our crazy glory.

Partners & peeps – embrace the revolution

So, you’re on this journey. Of health, fitness, well-being and overall awesomeness.  And you co-habituate or have a delightful significant other with whom you spend copious amounts of time. And they are not with the program.

Maybe they’re quietly observing from the sidelines.

Maybe you’ve had to turn down a meal or activity you’ve typically done in the past. (Ask me about the endless bags of potato chips that regularly appear on my kitchen counter. It’s like we have a tree in the back yard or something.)

Maybe you’d like to be doing something physical while they’d rather engage in a more sedentary activity.

Maybe they bring home unhealthy snacks and treats and drinks, and eat them while gazing deeply into your eyes.

When you change and are getting stronger, it can be threatening. Empowering for you, but a danger to them. Why? Well – its change, baby. You’re rocking the boat, kicking the hive. You’ve decided to move in a new direction for your own health and well-being. It takes everyone out of their comfort zone.

It’s possible they think they’ll lose you or perhaps it’s triggering something negative in them.

While I’m full on supportive of all-around heath, take it slow and keep it low when introducing the new you to your husband, wife, bestie, etc. Don’t hide it under a bushel, mind you (own it! be proud! love it!) but don’t flaunt it in front of those who could be struggling with both the new YOU and their own desire to make a change. They may not be quite ready yet.

You don’t owe anybody your energy: if they’re sucking you dry, step quietly away from the negativity. Surround yourself with like-minded people, and don’t return to the old gang for affirmation when chances are, you’re clearly not going to get it.

Stick to it. You know, there are people out there watching. Watching to see if you can hang on to this new you. Might be for a month, might be for a year before they acknowledge your efforts and accomplishments. Be that awesome example for them and everyone around you.

Re-phrase your thoughts. Rather than saying to them “I can’t eat that” or “I have to go work out”, try “I want to eat something with more nutrition” or “I’m making time to work out.” Just flip it a bit.  Invite them to try something with you.  Embrace your positive spin and love that you’re being healthy – don’t resent the fact you “can’t” eat ice cream and binge watch 8 seasons of something on Netflix. (Haha – not that that’s a HORRIBLE thing…sometimes we do need to flake out…)

Sometimes this road can be really lonely. Whether you want to start, but your partner doesn’t; or whether you’re already travelling this path… At those times, it seems like you may as well just sit on your ass and do nothing. Don’t fall for that.

Just keep going.

Never give up.

Well, that was a little visit to the soapbox, wasn’t it?

 

 

Day Three – 21 Day Fix (Score!)

Alright, alright, alright!  Day 3 on the Fix is A-OK.

Weighing in with 2.5 lbs lost.  Crazy, right? In three days? That’s the unofficial stance so far. That could’ve just been the flushing of the salt, toxins, or whatever. Stay tuned for further weight updates.

I accidentally skewed yesterday’s meals to leave me with 3 green boxes, 2 red and a teaspoon for dinner.  At first, I was at a loss.  That’s a lot of GREEN in one sitting.  So, I ended up having a massive salad and using extra virgin olive oil and a spice rub (“free”) on the accompanying steak. Not too shabby!

The difference between my meal and the family’s that night was their big, juicy Caesar salad (croutons! parm!  bacon!) to go with the steak.  Their dessert was a half cup of Greek yogurt, raspberries and a biscuit.

I’m going to try as much as possible to align what I’m eating with what I prepare for my husband and the boys.  Because making two meals is silly.  And going to the grocery store and buying a cartload of good stuff supplemented by boxed cereal, frozen fries, goldfish crackers, fatty dressings/dips etc. is simply not logical nor cool nor cheap. Why would I purposely feed junk to the people I love?

Pushback? Yep!  It takes a while to implement change like that.  They all have voices…they know what they like and aren’t afraid to make it clear when they DON’T like something.  So, I’m weaning them off a few things and adding in better choices, sneaky-like.  I’m also doing some plating/portioning in the kitchen before the food hits the table, so there’s no free for all on say, the desserts or the higher-calorie mashed potatoes.  This way, we can all be a little healthier.

As for the DVDs with trainer Autumn Calabrese, it’s all good.  Some exercises really do push my comfort level, while other ones are juuuust right enough to make me feel I’m getting it.  I’m using 5lbs as my light weights and 10 lbs as my heavy weights.  I also have ankle weights, but have not been badass enough to wear those yet.  I do wake up in the morning with overall muscle soreness, but not to the point where it’s painful – just a reminder that I found some new muscles the day before!

I will say that the 30 minute workouts don’t give a lot of time to stretch at the end. Add in your own stretching post-workout to make sure everything is good in muscle-ville.

WHAT I ATE

DAY TWO
Breakfast: 2 eggs & rye toast, olive oil
Snack AM: Greek yogurt & pecans, cinnamon
Lunch: salad (baby kale, mixed berries, sunflower seeds, goat cheese); tuna + rye crackers
Snack PM: peanut butter on rye cracker, banana
Dinner: salad (baby kale, red pepper, tomato, onion, shredded broccoli/carrot/cabbage) + steak, olive oil

DAY THREE
Breakfast: 2 eggs & rye toast, olive oil
Snack AM: Red pepper hummus & rye crackers
Lunch: salad (baby kale, red pepper, tomato, onion, shredded broccoli/carrot/cabbage, sunflower seeds); Greek yogurt & mixed berries, cinnamon
Snack PM: peanut butter on rye cracker, banana
Dinner: whole wheat pita stuffed with ham, baby kale, tomato, onion, shredded broccoli/carrot/cabbage, with snap peas and and red pepper on the side
Post-tennis evening snack: Chocolate Shakeo with baby kale in it (blended – didn’t taste it)

Yep – I kinda am a routine girl.  Not a lot changing up really.  The highlight of my day still is deciding what to put in the blue box. LOVE the blue box. Hummus? Cheese? Guac? Nuts?  My entire meal day revolves around what goes in the blue box…

The FB challenge group has been great for food ideas, mind you. All sorts of stuff  posted that I wouldn’t have ever considered.  Might have to try a few new things over the next couple of days.