Naked on the Internet

If you’d told me a year ago that I’d be happily uploading half-naked, grainy iPod photos of my morbidly obese self onto the World Wide Web, I would’ve laughed in your face.

Well, I did just that on April 1st (no joke!) and on April 2nd.

It’s all part of the weight verification process for the DietBets I’ve joined.  Oh yes, plural. TWO DietBets.

Fellow runners Nikki and Solana started a DietBet for April where participants are challenged to lose 4% of their body weight by the end of the month.  All damn cocky, I’m like, let’s hit two birds with one stone!  And I signed up for a second DietBet, pretty confident that the weight will just, you know, MELT AWAY.

At the beginning of each DietBet, you are asked to verify your weight through one full length photo in “airport attire” (ie tank top & shorts) and then another of your feet on the scale showing the weigh-in number, along with your password written on an index card next to the scale. The photos are visible to only you and DietBet.

I’ve never been a master selfie taker, so I quickly snapped the photos in my dimly-lit bedroom wearing a rather ill-fitting tank top and stretchy shorts, uploaded the photos, noted 220 lbs as my starting weight and went to bed.

In the morning, the DietBet adjudicators had sent me an email: my entry was NOT ACCEPTED. They needed a re-submission on the second DietBet.  They couldn’t see the scale, the pix were bad, etc.

So, in a panic of being potentially kicked from the game, and wearing my not-matching and rather sketchy underwear, I leapt onto the scale and re-shot it all in the revealing daylight, and was horrified that the scale now read 217.5. I submitted it.  This entry, of course, was accepted.

Normally, I’d be happy – hey I lost a couple of pounds overnight! – but now I’ve got one DietBet where I have to lose 8.8 lbs before the end of the month, and another where I have to lose 11.2 lbs.  DOH. So – my new April weight loss goal is no longer 10 lbs, but 11.2….minimum!  Eeeek.

Worst of all, I sent in a question to the info people, and it was promptly and helpfully answered by Dean G.  But  “DEAN G.” suddenly puts a face onto the whole anonymous, nobody-but-me-will-ever-see-these-photos concept.  Dean G.’s title is “Official DietBetter Referee.” I bet Dean G. can see EVERYTHING.

Can you imagine, day in and day out reviewing photographs of scantily clad overweight people to make sure they’re telling the truth about their weight?  That could be a dream job for some, I suppose… I bet Dean G. could tell some pretty awesome stories.

And of course, since it’s all about numbers, I’ve checked my weight 80 times in the past three days, which is just silly.  I need to forget about it and just carry on as usual.

And that’s my naked on the Internet story to tell the grandchildren one day.

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